Learn about 'Good Friends'

Magga Saṁyutta

SN 45.2 Upaḍḍha Sutta

 

So I have heard. At one time the Buddha was staying in the land of the Sakyans, where they have a town named Nagaraka. Then Venerable Ānanda went up to the Buddha, bowed, sat down to one side, and said to him:

 

“Sir, good friends, companions, and associates are half the spiritual life.”

 

“Not so, Ānanda! Not so, Ānanda! Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life. A mendicant with good friends, companions, and associates can expect to develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“And how does a mendicant with good friends develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path? It’s when a mendicant develops right view, which relies on seclusion, fading away, and cessation, and ripens as letting go. They develop right thought … right speech … right action … right livelihood … right effort … right mindfulness … right immersion, which relies on seclusion, fading away, and cessation, and ripens as letting go. That’s how a mendicant with good friends develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“And here’s another way to understand how good friends are the whole of the spiritual life. For, by relying on me as a good friend, sentient beings who are liable to rebirth, old age, and death, to sorrow, crying, pain, sadness, and distress are freed from all these things. This is another way to understand how good friends are the whole of the spiritual life.”

Kosala Saṁyutta

SN 3.18 Kalyāṇa Sutta
Good Friends

 

At the city of Sāvatthī

 

Seated to one side, King Pasenadi said to the Buddha, “Just now, bhante, as I was alone in my room, this thought came to mind. ‘The Dhamma is well explained by the Buddha. But it’s for someone with good friends, good companions, and good associates, not for someone with bad friends, bad companions, and bad associates.’”

 

“That’s so true, great king! That’s so true! The Dhamma is well explained by me. But it’s for someone with good friends, good companions, and good associates, not for someone with bad friends, bad companions, and bad associates.

 

“Great king, one day I was living in the state of the Sakyans where they have a town named Nagaraka. Then the monk Ānanda came to me, bowed respectfully, sat down to one side, and said: ‘Bhante, half of the path leading to Nibbāna depends on good friends, good companions, and good associates.’

 

“When he had spoken, I said to him: ‘Don’t say so, Ānanda! Don’t say so, Ānanda! Not only half, but the entire path leading to Nibbāna depends on good friends, good companions, and good associates. A monk who has good friends, good companions, and good associates can expect to develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“‘And how does a monk who has good friends develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path? It’s when a monk develops right view, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. They rely on freedom from the five hindrances, detachment, and lean towards cessation of craving, and Nibbāna. That’s how a monk, who has good friends, develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“‘And Ānanda, here’s another way to understand how good friends help the entire path to Nibbāna. Ānanda, by associating with me as a good friend, beings who are subject to rebirth, old age, death, sorrow, crying, pain, sadness, and distress are freed from all these things. This is another way to understand how good friends help the entire path to Nibbāna.’

 

“So, great king, you should train like this: ‘I will live with good friends, good companions, and good associates.’ That’s how you should train.

 

“When you live with good friends, good companions, and good associates, you should live supported by one thing: diligence in wholesome qualities. When you’re diligent, supported by diligence, your queens, ministers, army, and people will think, ‘The king lives diligently, supported by diligence. We’d better live diligently, supported by diligence!’

 

“When you’re diligent, supported by diligence, then not only you yourself, but your queens, your treasury and storehouses will also be guarded and protected.”

 

The Buddha:

“The person who wishes to enjoy great wealth
must be diligent in making merit.
The wise praise diligence in making merit.

 

“Being diligent, a wise person
secures two benefits: the benefit in this life,
and benefit in the lives to come.
Such an energetic person is called the wise one.”

Magga Saṁyutta

SN 45.2 Upaḍḍha Sutta

 

So I have heard. At one time the Buddha was staying in the land of the Sakyans, where they have a town named Nagaraka. Then Venerable Ānanda went up to the Buddha, bowed, sat down to one side, and said to him:

 

“Sir, good friends, companions, and associates are half the spiritual life.”

 

“Not so, Ānanda! Not so, Ānanda! Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life. A mendicant with good friends, companions, and associates can expect to develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“And how does a mendicant with good friends develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path? It’s when a mendicant develops right view, which relies on seclusion, fading away, and cessation, and ripens as letting go. They develop right thought … right speech … right action … right livelihood … right effort … right mindfulness … right immersion, which relies on seclusion, fading away, and cessation, and ripens as letting go. That’s how a mendicant with good friends develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold Path.

 

“And here’s another way to understand how good friends are the whole of the spiritual life. For, by relying on me as a good friend, sentient beings who are liable to rebirth, old age, and death, to sorrow, crying, pain, sadness, and distress are freed from all these things. This is another way to understand how good friends are the whole of the spiritual life.”

Sotāpatti Saṁyutta

SN 55.5 Sāriputta Sutta
With Sāriputta

 

One day Venerable Sāriputta went to the Buddha, bowed respectfully, and sat down to one side. The Buddha asked him, “Sāriputta, in the Dhamma, there are factors leading to stream-entry. What are those factors leading to stream-entry?”

 

“Bhante, the factors leading to stream-entry are associating with good people, listening to the Dhamma, wise consideration, and practicing in line with the Dhamma.”

 

“Good, good, Sāriputta! The factors leading to stream-entry are associating with good people, listening to the Dhamma, wise consideration, and practicing in line with the teachings.

 

“Sāriputta, in the Dhamma, it’s said ‘the stream’. What is this stream?”

 

“Bhante, the stream is a synonym for this Noble Eightfold Path, which is: right view, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.”

 

“Good, good, Sāriputta! The stream is a synonym for this Noble Eightfold Path, which is: right view, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

 

“Sāriputta, in the Dhamma, it’s said ‘a stream-enterer’. What is a stream-enterer?”

 

“Bhante, anyone who possesses this Noble Eightfold Path is called a stream-enterer, the person of such name and such clan.”

 

“Good, good, Sāriputta! Anyone who possesses this Noble Eightfold Path is called a stream-enterer, the person of such name and such clan.”

Sotāpatti Saṁyutta

SN 55.50 Aṇga Sutta
Factors of Stream-entry

 

“Monks, there are four factors of stream-entry. What four? Associating with noble friends, listening to the Dhamma, wise consideration, and practicing in line with the Dhamma. Monks, these are the four factors of stream-entry.”

Khuddakapāṭha  5 Mahā Maṅgala Sutta
Discourse on Blessings

 

Thus have I heard: On one occasion, the Blessed One was living in Sāvatthi at Jetavana at Anāthapiṇḍika’s monastery. Now when the night was far advanced, a certain deity, whose surpassing radiance illuminated the whole of Jetavana, approached the Blessed One, respectfully saluted him and stood to one side. Standing thus, he addressed the Blessed One in verse:

 

Many deities and humans longing for happiness have pondered on the questions of blessings. Pray, tell me what are the highest blessings?

 

Not to associate with the foolish but to associate with the wise and to honor those worthy of honor these are the highest blessings.

 

To reside in a suitable locality to have performed meritorious actions in the past, and to set oneself in the right direction these are the highest blessings.

 

Vast learning, skill in handicraft, well grounded in discipline and pleasant speech these are the highest blessings.

 

To support one’s father and mother, to cherish one’s wife and children, and to be engaged in peaceful occupations these are the highest blessings.

 

Generosity, righteous conduct, giving assistance to relatives, and doing blameless deeds these are the highest blessings.

 

To cease and abstain from evil, to abstain from intoxicating drinks, and to be diligent in practising the Dhamma these are the highest blessings.

 

Paying reverence to those who are worthy of reverence, humility, contentment, gratitude, and the timely hearing of the Dhamma these are the highest blessings.

 

Patience, obedience, meeting monks and timely discussions on the Dhamma these are the highest blessings.

 

Self-control, chastity, understanding the Noble Truths, and the realization of Nibbāna these are the highest blessings.

 

The mind that is not touched by the ups and downs of life; the mind that is free from sorrow, stainless and secure these are the highest blessings.

 

Those who have achieved these blessings are victorious everywhere, and they succeed in all their goals. For them, these are the highest blessings.

Itivuttaka  75 Vutthi Sutta
Rainy Cloud

 

This discourse was taught by the Blessed One, taught by the Arahant, the fully enlightened Supreme Buddha. This is as I heard:

 

“Monks, these three kinds of persons are found existing in the world. What three? One like a cloud without rain, one who rains locally, and one who rains everywhere.

 

Now, monks, what kind of person is like a cloud without rain? Monks, this is a person who does not give food, drink, clothing, vehicles, garlands, scents, lotions, beds, lodging, or lighting to any one: not to monks, nuns, or Brāhmins, and not to the poor, the homeless, and the needy. Monks, this is a person who is like a cloud without rain.

 

Now, monks, what kind of person is like a cloud that rains locally? Monks, this is a person who gives food, drink, clothing, vehicles, garlands, scents, lotions, beds, lodging and lighting to some monks, nuns, or Brāhmins, to some of the poor, the homeless and the needy, and not to others. Monks, this is a person who is like a cloud that rains locally.

 

Now, monks, what kind of person is like a cloud that rains everywhere? Monks, this is a person who gives food, drink, clothing, vehicles, garlands, scents, lotions, beds, lodging and lighting to all monks, nuns and Brāhmins as well as to the poor, the homeless and the needy. Monks, this is a person who is like a cloud that rains everywhere.

 

Monks, these are the three kinds of people existing in the world.”

 

This is the meaning of what the Blessed One said. So, with regard to this, it was said:

 

A certain person does not share the food and drinks he has gained with monks, nuns, Brāhmin, the poor, the homeless, and beggars. This kind of lowest person is called a cloud with no rain.

 

A certain person gives gifts to some people and not to others. The wise people call him one who rains locally.

 

A person who is responsive to requests and compassionate towards all beings distributes gifts delightedly, saying, “Give them! Give!”

 

That person is like a great storm cloud—resounding, thundering—raining, filling with water and drenching all over the earth.

 

He earns his wealth honestly through his own effort. He satisfies those in need with food and drink.

 

This, too, is the meaning of what was said by the Blessed One. This is exactly as I heard.

Itivuttaka  76 Sukhapatthanā Sutta
Hoping for Happiness

 

This discourse was taught by the Blessed One, taught by the Arahant, the fully enlightened Supreme Buddha. This is as I heard:

 

“Monks, hoping for three kinds of happiness, a wise person practices virtue. What are the three? Thinking ‘May praise come to me,’ a wise person practices virtue. Thinking ‘May wealth come to me,’ a wise person practices virtue. Thinking ‘At the break-up of the body, after death, may I be reborn in a good destination, a heavenly world,’ a wise person practices virtue.

 

Monks, hoping for these three kinds of happiness, a wise person practices virtue.”

 

This is the meaning of what the Blessed One said. So, with regard to this, it was said:

 

The wise person practices virtue hoping for three kinds of happiness: the praise of others, obtaining wealth, and rejoicing in a heavenly rebirth.

 

If one does no evil but associates with an evil-doer, people will suspect him of doing evil and his reputation will suffer.

 

The type of person one chooses for a friend, the type one associates with, is the type of person one becomes. One becomes like one’s companion.

 

One who associates and one who is associated with; one who makes contact and one who is contacted are like arrows coated with poison that contaminate the quiver. Fearing contamination, the wise person must not associate with evil people.

 

A person who wraps rotting fish with some kusa-grass makes the grass smelly. So it is with those who associate with evil-doers.

 

But a person who wraps powdered incense in the broad leaf of a tree makes the leaf fragrant. So it is with those who associate noble people.

 

Therefore, understanding one’s own outcome with the grass smeared with fish, one must not associate with evil-doers.

 

A wise person must associate with noble people, knowing that evil people will lead him to hell and noble people will help him reach a good destination.

 

This, too, is the meaning of what was said by the Blessed One. This is exactly as I heard.

Itivuttaka  78 Dhātu Saṁsandana Sutta
Coming Together

 

This discourse was taught by the Blessed One, taught by the Arahant, the fully enlightened Supreme Buddha. This is as I heard,

 

“Monks, it is according to their mind states that beings come together and associate with one another. Beings with low mind states come together and associate with beings having low mind states. Beings with good mind states come together and associate with beings having good mind states.

 

Monks, in the past, it was according to their mind states that beings came together and associated with one another. Beings with low mind states came together and associated with beings that had low mind states. Beings with good mind states came together and associated with beings that had good mind states.

 

Monks, in the future, it will be according to their mind states that beings will come together and associate with one another. Beings with low mind states will come together and associate with beings that have low mind states. Beings with good mind states will come together and associate with beings that have good mind states.

 

Monks, at the present time, it is according to their mind states that beings come together and associate with one another. Beings with low mind states come together and associate with beings having low mind states. Beings with good mind states come together and associate with beings having good mind states.”

 

This is the meaning of what the Blessed One said. So, with regard to this, it was said:

 

The defilements that arise through association with evil-doers are removed by discontinuing the association. Just as one riding on a small wooden board would sink into the great ocean, so does a virtuous one sink by associating with those who are lazy. Therefore, avoid those who are lazy and who make little effort.

 

There are noble ones who are wise and always energetic. Their minds are well established in Nibbāna. They meditate constantly in secluded places. Therefore, live with such noble ones.

 

This, too, is the meaning of what was said by the Blessed One. This is exactly as I heard.

Itivuttaka  104 Sīlasampanna Sutta
Possessing Virtue

 

This discourse was taught by the Blessed One, taught by the Arahant, the fully enlightened Supreme Buddha. This is as I heard,

 

“Monks, those monks who possess virtue, concentration and wisdom, who possess liberation, and the knowledge and vision of liberation; who exhort Dhamma, instruct Dhamma and who demonstrate, urge, rouse, and encourage, and who are competent teachers of the pure Dhamma—I say that seeing those monks is very helpful; listening to those monks is very helpful; approaching those monks is very helpful; attending to those monks is very helpful; remembering those monks is very helpful; and following their example in becoming a monk is very helpful. For what reason?

 

Monks, by associating with, following, and attending to such monks, the aspect of virtue, as yet incomplete, reaches completion through development; the aspect of concentration, as yet incomplete, reaches completion through development; the aspect of wisdom, as yet incomplete, reaches completion through development; the aspect of liberation, as yet incomplete, reaches completion through development; and the aspect of knowledge and vision of liberation, as yet incomplete, reaches completion through development.

 

Monks such as these are called true teachers, caravan-leaders, generals in the battle of defilements, dispellers of darkness, light-bringers, makers of radiance, makers of brightness, torch-bearers, and bringers of illumination, noble ones, and possessors of the eyes of Dhamma.”

 

This is the meaning of what the Blessed One said. So, with regard to this, it was said:

 

Even seeing the noble ones who are perfected in mind and live the life of Dhamma is a joyful occasion for knowledgeable, wise people.

 

When they teach the Dhamma they brighten and illuminate it. They are makers of light. They are heroic sages. Possessing eyes of Dhamma, they help beings achieve victory over the defilements.

 

Having heard the Buddha’s message from the noble ones, the wise, with perfect understanding, realize the end of rebirths and never return to birth.

 

This, too, is the meaning of what was said by the Blessed One. This is exactly as I heard.

Sacca Saṁyutta

SN 56.26 Mitta Sutta
Friends

 

“Monks, you have friends, relatives and family members who you have sympathy for. If they listen to your advice, you should establish them in the realization of the Four Noble Truths. You should encourage them to realize the Four Noble Truths.

 

“What four? The noble truth of suffering, the Noble Truth of the origin of suffering, the Noble Truth of the cessation of suffering, and the Noble Truth of the path that leads to the cessation of suffering. Monks, you have friends, relatives and family members who you have sympathy for. If they listen to your advice, you should establish them in the realization of the Four Noble Truths. You should encourage them to realize the Four Noble Truths.

 

“Therefore, monks, you should make an effort to understand: ‘This is suffering.’ You should make an effort to understand: ‘This is the origin of suffering.’ You should make an effort to understand: ‘This is the cessation of suffering.’ You should make an effort to understand: ‘This is the path that leads to the cessation of suffering.’”

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